Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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