I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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