Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
they need to just BURY HIM!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
