i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
how does that bad decision feel?
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