ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
