Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
