Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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