Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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