My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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