vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
