His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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