I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize