great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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