I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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