some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
God I need to hump something, right now.
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