if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
