In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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