I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
