He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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