One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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