I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
