Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
