I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
