You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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