So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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