What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
