maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
