well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
