She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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