is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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