i already hear my dad disowning me
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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