i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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