I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
