Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
