You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude i'm inner monologue high
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize