Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
