Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize