remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
