So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
