I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize