Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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