dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
