is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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