I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
