I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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