So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
