Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
