just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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