Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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