just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
