I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
