she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize