he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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