This girl is more easily done than said...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
