i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
