You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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