thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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