Dual....:-)
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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