y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
