ugly people sure do ruin things
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
