Rock
Scissors
Fuck
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
