have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
