smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
