Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
