I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
then he tried to convert me to islam
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's blow job season.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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