Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
