dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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