I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
COCAINE IS GR8
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
