Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I skipped work to stalk him.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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