Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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