i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
