We won't sleep together?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
