U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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