I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
