dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
