We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize