Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
