hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
