I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you would pick up someone in the library
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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