garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
