I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Randomize
