I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
