Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
